EXCLUSIVE: Area Woman Reads Newspaper

8/14/2012 10:22:04 AM

By Billy Gallagher

While we usually bring you photos of the iPhone 5 or Google Glass spotted in the wild, I’ve seen something much more rare.

This morning, I saw a woman reading words on printed paper.

This is the most disruptive thing since Dalton Caldwell’s last bowel movement.

I saw her a few rows ahead of me and was shocked. She was reading this incredibly thin paper that seemed to offer both informative and entertaining content. From what I could see, the paper had obituaries, local news, even comic strips!

I immediately conducted a highly scientific survey of my train neighbors and saw three people on iPhones, two on iPads and two on Macbooks. Two were sleeping—I think. One actually might have been dead.

[Trolls, you can’t get mad that I only saw Apple products BECAUSE IT’S SCIENCE.]

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